I promised I'd document my mastectomy recovery and how it does and does not interfere with my life. On a day to day basis, 6months down the line, they don't even cross my mind. Sometimes they do in terms of a top that doesn't quite compliment... or on the flip side, a top that certainly does compliment.
Yesterday however was the most recent (and certainly only one for a while) meltdown. Yesterday was the day my wedding dress arrived in the shop for me to try on. A very exciting experience and the dress is just beautiful. However, there were tears... not overwhelming excitement of getting married tears either! Whereas before trying on the in store dress I was 'clamped' in so all looked fitted and there was no foob indicators in sight, my top half is no longer playing the game. Unfortunately my foobs don't 'fall' in to the material as normal boobs would. They sit there all perky and rigid, which I am sure in 10 years time I will be grateful for. But right now, they are not my friends. Never ever would I have thought that I would miss side boob. That's right, side boob! I need side boob to fill the great big bloody gaps! We tried putting a bit of padding in there to 'lift'... well that just ended up in the giggles as they lifted, but just emphasised the problem. The lift... well hello perky but my goodness, the gaps just grew! That idea was short lived, although humorous. My Mum and sister assured me that to anyone looking, you couldn't tell. But my goodness, I could tell. It stood out like a bloody sore thumb to me. The result- tears! Just the look you want when stood in a beautiful dress and veil- red eyes and nose! I think it was more of a shock as I hadn't even thought that the boobage would be an issue. I was mindful of it when I last tried it on, as I was only just post op. But now, life is normal (relatively) again. I didn't consider it would even be an issue.
Victoria at the bridal shop is fabulous and she told me all the wonderful things seamstresses can do. Luckily I have an appointment today to have my alterations, so let's hope they can work their magic. As much as I was told that you 'can't tell', to me, I'd spend the whole day readjusting and checking that it wasn't obvious, and let's be honest, I think il have enough going on without worrying about my fooby gapage!