Stop Sign

A few days ago it was exactly 3 months ago I had my surgery. I cannot believe how quickly time has passed, especially as during the initial stages of recovery it felt like the experience was going to last forever. When I look back at all the things I could not do after the operation, and how much I can do now, it does make you think about how far you have come. I have written before about how small everyday tasks become moments of achievements. Like grating cheese… that was last week’s star moment. The flip side of it is that you feel like you are back to yourself and therefore get on with life as you did before. Well, that is my experience/how I have been going about things. I have always been a huge advocate of getting on with things, no fuss and no wallowing. However, I have faced a stop sign this week that has reminded me that even 3 months down the line I am still recovering. Some how or other I have hurt myself down my right side. Not directly on foob… because they don’t feel at all! But round the side of my implant then the area directly adjacent round to near my back. When I move my arm is really hurts, almost a similar scale pain to a few weeks post op. It started as a dull ache on Thursday evening and has gradually got worse. My gut feeling is iv perhaps torn or pulled the muscle. Obviously I am not a doctor, but it seems a logical explanation. I think I may have done this whilst going about my normal day at work, possibly lifting my photocopying- serves me right for being a bit keen with having the January A-Level mock papers copied. Pain is pain, and something that I am sure can be easily dealt with. After everything, a bit of pain is not something that is going to make me crumble and cry. However, what I have found harder (don’t get me wrong, it bloody hurts) is the fact that I haven’t actually done anything to warrant an injury. Whether I am in denial or desperately trying to move on, I just want to be back to my normal self. Things like this stop me or should I say remind me, that I am perhaps not quite back to myself or a full bill of health. I just want to be me. I want to be able to get on with work, career around the corridors and do whatever challenge faces me that day. On the more humorous, but still very important note, I want to be able to go Christmas shopping and buy all the naff stocking fillers and presents. I love a good internet shopping session, but you just don’t quite find the same little gems as you would in the shops. Unless people want feathers and anything else that is light to carry… the little gems might need to go amiss this year.

 

I think the crux of this blog is that I am so much better and trying hard to get on with life. But I think I need to appreciate that these things take time and I can’t just bounce back immediately. The more I try and do this, or the more I try and pretend nothing ever happened, the more accidents will probably happen. So perhaps my biggest challenge or one of them at the moment, is to learn to take it easy… or at least easier. I am very much an on the go person. I love a bit of multi-tasking, learning, rushing around and having a jobs list. But perhaps right now, that’s not the best thing for me. It is almost Christmas after all, the season to be jolly. I am sure there is a jolly and jubblies joke there somewhere…

 

S x